I Hate Valentine's Day
by RegularShowFan1592
Summary: Rigby hates the most romantic holiday of the year. Will a Valentine's Day dance (and a pretty enticing bet from Mordecai) be able to change how he feels? RigbyxEileen (Rigleen) oneshot. Rated K for no inappropriate content.


**Author's Note:** Hi guys! I'm sorry I've had to repost this so many times, Fanfiction has been acting up these past few days! :( Anyways, I wanted to try my hand at a Valentine's Day oneshot! WARNING: So cute, your eyes may explode. Enjoy! :D

* * *

Today was a bright, happy Valentine's Day in Mallard Park. To celebrate, everyone, or more accurately, _mostly_ everyone, was preparing for the Valentine's Day dance later in the evening. Outside, Skips was busy hanging up streamers in the shape of Cupid and doves along the house, Muscle Man, Thomas and Fives were decorating the ballroom, Pops was in the kitchen baking heart-shaped cookies topped with red frosting, Benson was, unfortunately, working in his office and finally, our two favorite slackers were arguing over something dumb, as usual.

"Dude, come on!" yelled a certain blue jay, becoming annoyed with a little brown raccoon.

"No! I don't wanna go!" he argued back, pulling a dirty shirt back over his head. It was early for him and he didn't want to budge.

Mordecai lifted the shirt off of Rigby's head, "Rigby, it's 12:30! Get out of bed! I need your help at the store to pick up something for Margaret!"

"Oh yeah? What's in it for me?" he asked, his eyes narrowing.

The avian slapped his forehead, "I-I don't know! I'll get you some candy or something?"

The smaller one's eyes lit up, "Really?! I want-"

Mordecai interrupted, "Ah! Don't tell me, I'll get you some awesome candy bro, just be patient." He then walked to the doorway, "Now let's get going, we don't have much time."

Rigby simply grumbled to himself as he walked down to the golf cart with Mordecai, _'I hate Valentine's Day...'_

* * *

The boys drove to the only candy shop in town, affectionately called "HeartLand". The store was filled to the brim with all of the romantic holiday's traditions: candy, cards, chocolates, and more. To any normal person it looked like fun, but to Rigby, it made him want to hurl.

Mordecai stared in amazement, "Whoa! There's so much stuff to choose from!"

Rigby groaned, "Can we hurry up? I wanna get out of this place..."

Mordecai hushed him, "Hold on, I gotta make sure I pick the _perfect_ card out." Mordecai sifted through the choices, finally finding one with a big heart that popped out of the middle when opened. The bird smiled, "I bet she'll love this!" He showed Rigby the card, "What do you think, dude?"

He skimmed over the card, "I don't know...it's alright, I guess."

Mordecai frowned, "Aw, come on Rigby! Where's your sense of passion, of romance?"

"I think it's gonna be all over the floor if we don't go..." he remarked.

Mordecai sighed, "Ugh...whatever, let me just get some candy then we can leave." He went over and picked up a box of chocolate hearts for Margaret as well. The boys bought their items and left, driving back to the park. On the way, Rigby was becoming impatient. The raccoon began annoyingly poking the bird in his side.

"Mordecai?! Where's my candy you promised?!" he whined.

Mordecai moaned. He decided that there was no way he'd be able to hide his candy from Rigby's stomach, so he reluctantly pulled out a few hearts from the box. "Here, take some..." Suddenly, a plan popped into his head. "Hey, guess what?"

Rigby quickly stuffed one into his mouth, "Waph?"

"I have an idea, man. Just hear me out on this: I want you..." he pointed to his short friend, pausing for dramatic effect, "...to go to tonight's dance..." he paused once more. Rigby's mouth was full of candy, so he simply nodded in response.

"...with Eileen."

Rigby reacted by spitting out the sweets, covering Mordecai's arm in half-eaten chocolate.

"AW, SICK!" he screamed, shaking it off.

Rigby wiped his mouth, chuckling, "Uh, s-sorry."

He sighed again, "Anyways, I really think going out with her might teach you something about appreciation." Teasing the raccoon, a sly grin formed on his beak, "Plus, who knows, you might get lucky..."

"SHUT UP!"

Mordecai thought for a moment, "Hmm. In fact, I have a challenge for you, Rigby: If you can hit it off with Eileen at the dance tonight and not look like an idiot, I'll do your chores for the next two weeks!"

"Seriously?" Rigby pondered this, then stuck out his hand in a fist. "Okay, it's a deal!" Mordecai smiled, bro-fisting him back.

Mordecai set his eyes back to the road, "You know what? I'm thirsty. Let's stop off for a coffee."

The raccoon's eyes bulged, "What?! You mean right now?!"

* * *

The duo pulled in front of the shop. Before walking inside, Rigby went up and peered through the glass. "Dude, I-I don't know if I can ask her out." he mumbled.

Mordecai threw his wings up, "Oh, come on man! What's the worst that could happen?"

"Uh, she could try to kiss me, for starters!" he yelled, raising his arms as well.

"Pfft, like she'd want to kiss you!" he laughed.

Rigby tried to defend himself, "Hey! I can get any chick, any time! Remember that time when I almost went out with Margaret? She was-"

Mordecai furrowed his brow, punching Rigby in the shoulder, "Dude, don't bring that up."

"Ow!" he cried, rubbing his arm.

"But, since you're so confident," Mordecai strolled over and opened the shop's door, "...go right ahead."

Rigby gulped. He dashed down the steps, hiding underneath the closest coffee table he could find. He stuck his head out, looking around the shop for Eileen. For some odd reason, he couldn't see her. "Where the heck is she?" he muttered. Sadly, his cover was quickly blown.

"Uh, Rigby? Is that you? Why are you under this table?" the mole asked.

He came out and stood up, "Uh, I was, um, hiding. Yeah, that's it! I was hiding." he chuckled.

Eileen was puzzled, "Huh? From who?"

"From, um, Benson...? Yep, Benson. He's looking for me, so I came to the shop." he lied, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh. Well, do you want anything to eat?"

Rigby's stomach growled, as if on cue. "Actually, yeah. Can I get the usual?"

"Sure! I'll have it out in a bit." she replied. She winked at him, then walked off to the kitchen.

This entire time, Mordecai was laughing his butt off outside. Rigby exited the shop in a huff.

"Dude! Why are you laughing?!"

Mordecai replied, "Because, you hid right next to her! Ha!" He calmed down, "So, did anything happen yet?"

He raised his arms again, "NO! I'm getting to it! Geez!"

"Well, you'd better hurry. The dance starts at 5:30 tonight."

"What time is it now?"

Mordecai pulled out his phone, "Um, 2:00. Plus, we have to clean you up, and you gotta pick her out a card, and maybe a flower."

"Aw, but that sounds like hard work!" he whined.

"Well, what do you-" he stopped and looked back inside. "Oh man, she's coming out!" he yelled, then pushed the raccoon back in. "Go, go, go!"

Rigby clumsily stumbled down the steps, narrowly missing Eileen who was walking back from setting down his food. In a moment of panic, he grabbed onto her shoulders to keep from falling onto his face. She nearly fell as well, but held him upright. "Oh, s-sorry Eileen!" he blushed, moving away from her.

She smiled, "No problem." The mole pointed to the table, "Your food is ready."

"Awesome!" he grinned, dashing to his seat. Eileen sat down across from him. "Wow, this food looks amazing!"

"Really? I made it myself...just the way you like it..." she blushed.

"Well, you're a really good cook, Eileen." he complimented in between stuffing his face with his triple-dipped sandwich.

The raccoon kept eating, so Eileen spoke up, "Um, so I hear there's a Valentine's Day dance tonight at the park?"

He nodded, his mouth full of food, "Waph abowf if?"

Eileen twiddled her thumbs, "Well, I, um, was wondering if you wanted to, um..." her voice became soft, barely even a whisper, "go with me?"

Even though he didn't hear the last part, he knew what she'd asked. Rigby took a swig of his coffee and replied, "Yeah whatever, I'll go. I've got nothing better to do anyways."

Eileen beamed, "Really?! You'll go to the dance with me?! Like a-a real date?!"

He put his hands up, "Whoa now, no one said anything about a date. Think of it as more of a, um...friendly thing."

Eileen's heart sank a bit, '_Well, at least he said he's going...'_

When Rigby finished, he stepped off to the side. "Well, I gotta get back to work. Thanks for the food, Eileen. The dance is at 5:30, so don't be late!" he said, walking out.

When he left, Eileen was confused, to say the least. She doubted Rigby even wanted to be around her, with the way he was treating this dance like it didn't mean anything. On the other hand, what was it with the sudden compliments? Was he _trying_ to mess with her feelings? She decided to wing it, and go anyways. Who knows, maybe she'd finally get Rigby to realize what he's missing out on...

* * *

A few hours passed, with the dance preparations nearly complete. Rigby had dusted off his tux he wore to "Steak Me Amadeus", donning it proudly. Mordecai, being a true pal, had helped him get ready, even calling Margaret over before the dance to show Rigby how to properly move his feet, so he wouldn't embarrass himself in front of Eileen. Rigby quickly jotted down the moves on the inside of his tux. Hopefully, he could read his own sloppy writing.

"Okay, so we've got the dance moves, the tux..." the avian couldn't remember the last thing, "and what else?"

Rigby snapped his finger, "Oh, yeah! The card!"

Margaret looked at her phone, "Oh, I'm really sorry Rigby, but it's too late to buy one _and_ make it on time, the dance starts in 20 minutes!"

Rigby frowned, "Hmm. Well, don't worry about it guys, I'll think of something." He smiled at the couple, "You just go and enjoy the party."

"Okay, if you say so man. See ya at the dance!" Mordecai waved, taking Margaret's hand and walking out the door.

"See ya!" he replied. Rigby then walked upstairs and tiptoed into Benson's office. He began rummaging through his desk, searching for something, "Now, where's the- Oh, there it is!"

Benson was adjusting his bowtie in a mirror, when he turned around to find the raccoon, "Rigby? Rigby, what are you doing in my office? Why are you in my desk?!"

Rigby nearly dropped the items he was carrying, "Sorry Benson, but I, um, need this stuff. I was gonna make-"

Benson cut him off, pointing to the door, "It doesn't matter! Just get out, I'm getting ready for the dance!"

"Okay, geez!" he said, shutting the door. Rigby darted downstairs, dumping the supplies onto the kitchen table. Before he started however, he ran outside, picking out some flowers from the garden. When he came back in, he went to work.

_'I really hope she likes this...'_

* * *

Eileen arrived to the ballroom, wearing a white dress with a purple corsage on the front and sky-blue heels. She stepped out of her car, going up to the front door. Skips was acting as the bouncer and greeted her.

"Hey, Eileen. You look very nice." he said. He looked around, "Wait a second, where's your date?"

"Oh, Rigby agreed to go with me. Have you seen him?"

He frowned, "No, not yet. But you seem worried, what's the matter?"

She looked down to the ground, "Well, Rigby was very confusing in the coffee shop today. He agreed to go, but only as friends...I think."

Skips looked behind her, smirking, "Well, with the way he's dressed up, I wouldn't say that."

Eileen turned around and nearly fainted.

Rigby was in his tux, sure, but he'd also slicked back his hair into a spiked fashion, making him even_ more_ attractive to the mole. He walked over to her, grabbing her hand.

"You ready to head in Eileen?" he asked, his voice surprisingly smooth. That's when she felt the Dude Time spray wafting into her nose.

She could barely manage a word, let alone a complete sentence, "Uh, y-yeah..."

* * *

They stepped inside. The place was packed with couples already dancing. On the tables to the sides of the room were punch and some bowls, filled with those awful candy hearts that taste like chalk. Streamers accented the room nicely, but the best thing in here had to be the huge, sparkling, heart-shaped disco ball in the center. It spun around slowly, covering everything in red and pink.

Rigby looked over to her. He cut to the chase, "So, you wanna dance?"

She was surprised at his newfound confidence, "_You_ know how to dance, Rigby?"

"Yep. I've been practicing." he replied.

"Really?" She rubbed her shoulder, "Well, I don't know...maybe we could wait a bit?"

Refusing to take "no" for an answer, he stepped in front of her, holding out his free hand and gesturing to the dance floor.

"Come on, Eileen. Please, dance with me." he smiled.

She couldn't turn down that face, even if she tried.

They moved out to the center of the floor. Before starting, however, Rigby moved away from her. "Hold on a second, Eileen. I gotta do something real quick." he said. He ran up to Thomas, who was the DJ of the evening, whispered something in his ear, then ran back to the mole.

"What was that about?" she asked.

"Just wait..." he responded, a sly grin across his lips.

Suddenly, Thomas stopped the music and came over the P.A system, "Hey guys, I have a request from Rigby. So, if everyone could please take a break, he'd appreciate it." All the other couples agreed, moving off the dance floor. The only ones left were the raccoon and mole.

All eyes were on them.

Eileen felt even more nervous now. She put her voice to a whisper, "Rigby, what are you doing?!" He ignored her question, walked over to Thomas and took the microphone, coming back to Eileen.

He spoke, "Eileen, I need to apologize: I'm sorry for acting the way I did to you. I didn't realize until recently that I really, truly care for you. I was too nervous to bring it up, so I kept up the appearance of being a jerk. I acted this way until tonight, when I thought the time was right to finally confess my true feelings. I mean, with Valentine's Day here, I thought, _'What better way to show how I feel than at the big dance, in front of everyone?'_. I've changed, Eileen. Ever since you helped me with that pull-up test, I've come to respect you." He stopped, then threw his arm out to the side for effect, "No, not just respect you, but LIKE you...maybe even more than that!" he yelled aloud.

Eileen was speechless. She choked out, "Rigby, I-"

"Please, wait! Before you say anything, I have one thing to ask..." he said, getting down on one knee. He pulled out an object from his inside his tuxedo. It was a card.

"Eileen, will you be my Valentine?"

The entire room was waiting in suspense. Eileen took the card from Rigby's shaking, sweaty hand. His cheeks were hot with pressure and embarrassment. She looked down to the crudely-made gift. It was a heart made out of red construction paper with glued-on googly eyes and some macaroni for a smile. Inside were two flowers and between them was a small poem, which read:

_**'Roses are red,**_

_**Violets are blue,**_

_**I forgot the rest,**_

_**But I really like you.'**_

Eileen just stood there, continuing to stare at the card. She looked back up at Rigby.

Mordecai yelled out from the crowd, "Well, what it's gonna be?!"

Eileen dropped the card to the floor. Everyone gasped. Some could see tears were starting to form in her eyes.

Rigby stood up and moved towards her, "Eileen? What's wrong? Are you-"

She stopped him by pulling him into a full-on, passion-filled, tension-breaking kiss. She refused to let go of him, locking her lips with his for what felt like an eternity. He was stunned and dropped the microphone, with his tail shooting up like a rocket, but gladly returned it. When she finally broke the kiss, she grabbed the microphone from the floor.

"YES! I will be your Valentine, Rigby!" she cried out in joy.

Everyone cheered for them. Mordecai and Margaret ran up and congratulated Rigby on speaking his mind and showing his true self.

"I'm proud of ya, dude!" Mordecai smiled, patting his friend on the back.

"Thanks, guys!" Rigby grinned.

"I think it's time to dance though..." Mordecai said, looking around the room. The bird cupped his hands around his beak, "Hey, Thomas!"

"Yeah, man?"

"Play some music, dude!"

Thomas gave him a thumbs-up, starting up a slow song.

Rigby gripped Eileen's hand tightly, "So, are you ready now?"

She smiled, taking his other hand, "Yep. But, let's take it nice and easy."

He was puzzled for a moment, "Huh? Why?"

She narrowed her eyes and pointed to his chest, "I saw the notes when you pulled out the card..."

Rigby stuttered, "Oh, y-yeah? Well, I-I um-"

She giggled, "It's okay Rigby. I'll help you."

With that, they began to slowly dance. For his first time dancing with a girl, Rigby was doing pretty good. Eileen had rested her head on his shoulder, and they swayed back and forth to the beat. After a few minutes, Rigby had to get something off his chest.

"Hey, can I, um, can I tell you something?" he asked.

She chuckled, "What could you possibly say to me that you haven't already?"

He sighed. Rigby knew there was no going back from tonight's revealing events, so he might as well say it to her now. He whispered softly into her ear, "Eileen, at this moment...you mean everything to me."

With that, not another word was uttered between the couple. They simply continued to dance, holding each other close and smiling the entire time. Only one thought came to the raccoon's mind with her in his arms:

'_I love Valentine's Day...'_


End file.
